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Where is God When I'm Feeling Alone?

February 28, 2021   Second Sunday of Lent (Lectionary: 26)

Reading I   Gn 22:1-2, 9a, 10-13, 15-18
God put Abraham to the test.
He called to him, “Abraham!”
“Here I am!” he replied.
Then God said:
“Take your son Isaac, your only one, whom you love,
and go to the land of Moriah.
There you shall offer him up as a holocaust
on a height that I will point out to you.”

When they came to the place of which God had told him,
Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it.
Then he reached out and took the knife to slaughter his son.
But the LORD’s messenger called to him from heaven,
“Abraham, Abraham!”
“Here I am!” he answered.
“Do not lay your hand on the boy,” said the messenger.
“Do not do the least thing to him.
I know now how devoted you are to God,
since you did not withhold from me your own beloved son.”
As Abraham looked about,
he spied a ram caught by its horns in the thicket.
So he went and took the ram
and offered it up as a holocaust in place of his son.

Again the LORD’s messenger called to Abraham from heaven and said:
“I swear by myself, declares the LORD,
that because you acted as you did
in not withholding from me your beloved son,
I will bless you abundantly
and make your descendants as countless
as the stars of the sky and the sands of the seashore;
your descendants shall take possession
of the gates of their enemies,
and in your descendants all the nations of the earth
shall find blessing—
all this because you obeyed my command.”

Responsorial Psalm   116:10, 15, 16-17, 18-19
R. (116:9) I will walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.
I believed, even when I said,
“I am greatly afflicted.”
Precious in the eyes of the LORD
is the death of his faithful ones.
R. I will walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.
O LORD, I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your handmaid;
you have loosed my bonds.
To you will I offer sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and I will call upon the name of the LORD.
R. I will walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.
My vows to the LORD I will pay
in the presence of all his people,
In the courts of the house of the LORD,
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
R. I will walk before the Lord, in the land of the living.

Reading II   Rom 8:31b-34
Brothers and sisters:
If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son
but handed him over for us all,
how will he not also give us everything else along with him?

Who will bring a charge against God’s chosen ones?
It is God who acquits us, who will condemn?
Christ Jesus it is who died—or, rather, was raised—
who also is at the right hand of God,
who indeed intercedes for us.

Verse Before the Gospel   Cf. Mt 17:5
From the shining cloud the Father’s voice is heard:
This is my beloved Son, listen to him.

Gospel   Mk 9:2-10
Jesus took Peter, James, and John
and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves.
And he was transfigured before them,
and his clothes became dazzling white,
such as no fuller on earth could bleach them.
Then Elijah appeared to them along with Moses,
and they were conversing with Jesus.
Then Peter said to Jesus in reply,
“Rabbi, it is good that we are here!
Let us make three tents:
one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified.
Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them;
from the cloud came a voice,
“This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.”
Suddenly, looking around, they no longer saw anyone
but Jesus alone with them.

As they were coming down from the mountain,
he charged them not to relate what they had seen to anyone,
except when the Son of Man had risen from the dead.
So they kept the matter to themselves,
questioning what rising from the dead meant.

By Gianna Baker 

There have been many times throughout my life in which I’ve felt God’s presence and knew He was with me. Sometimes it seemed He would communicate with me through the voice of someone else, and other days I could appreciate the presence of God in a puddle that smiled back at me.

I could find Him in the mundane, everyday things, even on a bad day. 

But recently (within the past year or so), this feeling of closeness to God seems to be fading more and more. I haven’t been able to hear His voice, or catch a glimpse of how He’s been working in my life.

I'm not sure if it has to do with the pandemic, injustices I've witnessed, my intensifying struggle with anxiety, or a perfect storm of everything.

But I’ve just felt incredibly alone. 

Where could God be in this mess of a world I live in? 

I’m not going to pretend like I have all the answers, because I don’t.  But one thing that has been giving me the strength to keep searching is the verse: if God is for us, then who could be against us?

Because, admittedly, my anxiety and self doubt often get in the way of me fighting for myself, fighting to have hope.

But repeating this verse when I’m feeling especially defeated motivates me to keep pushing through these feelings of uncertainty and pain. It’s consoling to know that even on days I’m against myself, God is always there, willing and ready to pick me back up. 

You see, even when we can’t feel His presence, God is fighting on our behalf, regardless of whether or not we’re even fighting for ourselves. And that, for me, is reason enough to keep going.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gianna Baker is twenty-something just trying to figure out her purpose in life amidst a global pandemic. She has a fluctuating spirituality, but always has and always will love to love others. Gianna has a passion for social justice issues surrounding immigration, as well as environmental justice. While she knows she can’t necessarily solve all the injustices she encounters, it is important to her that she continues to fight for dignity and respect for all. As a friend once told her: it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re perfect for the job or not, what matters is you’re the one who showed up.

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