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The Reasons I'm Unsatisfied with My Life

November 19, 2020   Thursday of the Thirty-Third Week in Ordinary Time (Lectionary: 500)

Reading 1   RV 5:1-10

I, John, saw a scroll in the right hand of the one who sat on the throne.
It had writing on both sides and was sealed with seven seals.
Then I saw a mighty angel who proclaimed in a loud voice,
“Who is worthy to open the scroll and break its seals?”
But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth
was able to open the scroll or to examine it.
I shed many tears because no one was found worthy
to open the scroll or to examine it.
One of the elders said to me, “Do not weep.
The lion of the tribe of Judah, the root of David, has triumphed,
enabling him to open the scroll with its seven seals.”

Then I saw standing in the midst of the throne
and the four living creatures and the elders
a Lamb that seemed to have been slain.
He had seven horns and seven eyes;
these are the seven spirits of God sent out into the whole world.
He came and received the scroll from the right hand
of the one who sat on the throne.
When he took it,
the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders
fell down before the Lamb.
Each of the elders held a harp and gold bowls filled with incense,
which are the prayers of the holy ones.
They sang a new hymn:

“Worthy are you to receive the scroll
and break open its seals,
for you were slain and with your Blood you purchased for God
those from every tribe and tongue, people and nation.
You made them a kingdom and priests for our God,
and they will reign on earth.”

Responsorial Psalm   PS 149:1B-2, 3-4, 5-6A AND 9B

R. (Rev. 5:10) The Lamb has made us a kingdom of priests to serve our God.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Sing to the LORD a new song
of praise in the assembly of the faithful.
Let Israel be glad in their maker,
let the children of Zion rejoice in their king.
R. The Lamb has made us a kingdom of priests to serve our God.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Let them praise his name in the festive dance,
let them sing praise to him with timbrel and harp.
For the LORD loves his people,
and he adorns the lowly with victory.
R. The Lamb has made us a kingdom of priests to serve our God.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Let the faithful exult in glory;
let them sing for joy upon their couches;
Let the high praises of God be in their throats.
This is the glory of all his faithful. Alleluia.
R. The Lamb has made us a kingdom of priests to serve our God.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Alleluia   PS 95:8
R. Alleluia, alleluia.
If today you hear his voice,
harden not your hearts.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Gospel   LK 19:41-44

As Jesus drew near Jerusalem,
he saw the city and wept over it, saying,
“If this day you only knew what makes for peace–
but now it is hidden from your eyes.
For the days are coming upon you
when your enemies will raise a palisade against you;
they will encircle you and hem you in on all sides.
They will smash you to the ground and your children within you,
and they will not leave one stone upon another within you
because you did not recognize the time of your visitation.”
By Delaney Rayner 

“I’ll be happy when the weekend comes.” 

“Once I start sticking to my prayer schedule, I will have it all figured out.” 

“I just need to fix that relationship then everything will be better.” 

“After I get my grades up, I’ll stop being stressed all the time” 

“Okay, I’ll get my life together then I will have some peace of mind.” 

These phrases are the ingredients to my recipe of peace.

This is what I’ve used to calm the unrest in my heart. This is what I say to myself when I am unsatisfied in my life. 

In today’s Gospel, Jesus laments for Jerusalem, longing that they would accept his peace. He weeps, saying “If this day you only knew what makes for peace,” (Luke 19:41).

Sometimes I can be just like Jerusalem, with the true source of peace “hidden from [my] eyes,” (Luke 19:42). 

I can try to find my peace in the things around me if I want, but the fact of the matter is: weekends come and go, my prayer is going to waver, relationships don’t look likes the ones in the movies, performance at work and school is a constant endeavor, and I will never, no matter how hard I try, be entirely put-together.

The thing is, I can’t manufacture peace.

If I base my peace in things that are fleeting, my peace will be fleeting. 

But Jesus, he longs to give me lasting peace right now. He begs me to open my heart to receive from Him. 

He is the only source of peace. In fact, this well never runs dry. This is the place I can go back to time after time when I’m feeling weary, depleted, and anxious.  Jesus will give me rest, and restore what I am lacking. 

I search for the worldly things that claim to offer peace, but when I come and pray, when I go to the Sacraments, when I break open His word, and when I let my cup be filled by others that lead me back to Him, His peace flows into me like a river. Even when the world is in complete chaos, He still has the ability to give me peace. 

As St. Augustine said, my heart is restless until it rests in Him.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

Delaney Rayner is Texas native currently a student at Franciscan University in Steubenville, Ohio. She is studying Communication Arts and Theology with the hope of fulfilling God’s call for her through media and ministry. Delaney can be found crafting Pinterest DIYs, belting Taylor Swift’s “folklore” in her car, or praying the rosary in her travel hammock. Whatever she finds beautiful, she photographs - mostly her friends and sunsets. Delaney is told that she is a little too passionate about fonts and St. Pope JPII, but doesn’t mind it.  Find her on Instagram here.

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